I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
