I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
