So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
