brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
