Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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