If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I could make wine with my vomit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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