I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
