so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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