Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
