so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
