Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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