I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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