Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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