Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
