we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
