Swine flu. Run for my life!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
