Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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