Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
