No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
