sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
