a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
