did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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