Can i not drive my cunt home
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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