I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
