just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
