But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
