my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
