Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
