I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
