Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
