after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
