His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
