The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
