Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
