i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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