At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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