Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
