no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
