I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
