At least make sure they are 18
Why
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
