Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
