just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
