It's like God shit irony all over that family
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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