He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
