just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
