so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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