she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
