so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
