Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
