dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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